Before handing over a first phone, set up a child account under your own family group, turn on automatic updates, set app, contact and time controls, configure spam filtering, store passwords in a manager, and agree house rules in advance. Do the settings first, then hand it over with a conversation.
1. Choose the account system
On an iPhone, use Family Sharing with a Child Account. Apple's guide says the child's Apple Account should be in your group and not shared. See the Screen Time checklist. On Android, Family Link manages a child's Google account, apps, screen time and Play content, per Google's help page. See what Family Link can and cannot supervise.
2. Contacts and communication
On Apple devices you can limit who the child may reach in Messages, FaceTime and Phone, and Communication Safety blurs nudity, gore and violence on children's devices. Start with a short list of family and friends you know and expand it together. Read what Communication Safety does.
3. Apps, purchases and web
Turn on purchase approval, pick a web filter level, and review age ratings. Google notes Family Link settings in Chrome do not follow a child to other browsers on some platforms, so check what is installed.
4. Updates and spam
Turn on automatic updates; CISA says attackers do not wait for you to click "Remind me later". Configure the phone's built-in spam filtering, and teach the child to forward junk texts to 7726 as the FTC suggests. See spam text scams.
5. Passwords and locks
Set a passcode the child can use and that you also know. Store the account passwords in your password manager. Use the CISA standard of long, unique passwords where the child can handle it; see family password habits.
6. House rules
CISA's tips include clear limits, open conversation and no fear of punishment for reporting. Write down a few rules together:
- Where the phone sleeps overnight.
- Which apps need approval.
- What to do if a stranger messages: do not reply, tell an adult.
- That showing you something upsetting will never cost them the phone.
7. Review dates
Put a date in the calendar for three months out to loosen or tighten the settings. Update the plan when new apps or friends appear.
Quick check
Should the child know the settings exist?
Yes. CISA advises setting limits and talking about risks openly, aiming to build awareness without causing fear.
Do I need all of these on day one?
Start with the account, contacts, updates and house rules. Add the rest as the child grows.
Sources
- Apple Support: Set up Screen Time for a child
- Google Help: Get started with Family Link
- CISA: Keeping Children Safe Online
- FTC: How to Recognize and Report Spam Text Messages
Last reviewed: 19 October 2026.
